Slow news day

What we have here is a failure to [change voice] Respect My Athoritah!

What is it about Northern Bank and Trust?

The place is a fortress!  They have two or three inch thick Plexiglas all around the teller’s counter and lock-in lock-out procedures that should make the place, um, ‘rather difficult’ to rob.  And yet this is the second robbery at that bank that I have the privilege to write about.

Last time around some rocket scientist opened an account, then robbed the place twenty minutes later – after giving them all his contact information and letting them photocopy his drivers license.

This time a local kid pulled the ‘pass the teller a note trick’ and then hid across the street in another bank!

There are at least five banks within about a mile of each other on Great Road.  Northern is the most heavily fortified of the lot.  And that’s the one that keeps getting robbed.  Iduno…  Maybe that’s the attraction?  These to geniuses almost seem to want to get caught.

The other thing that I don’t understand: In such a heavily fortified bank why on earth would they just hand over a bunch of cash when no weapon was shown? 

If it were me I’d add one more gizmo to the kit and have a way to remotely lock the outside doors.  Some punk hands me a note demanding cash, I’d hit the remote lock and tell him to have a seat.  His ride down town will be here in just a few minutes.

Yeash!

This is why QC is so important…

Counterfeit bills in ATMs lead to man’s capture

However, the counterfeit currency was easily detected by the cash machines and customers (perhaps due to the fact that they were blank on one side). - emphasis added

What was he thinking?  Er, perhaps I should rephrase: Was he thinking?

Here we go again…

Man allegedly steals $100K coin collection, then spends at face value on pizza and a movie

To quote Bugs: “What a maroon!”

We had a case a while back where some more local ‘maroon’ stole a relative’s collection and dumped it into a CoinStar machine.  That id10t didn’t even get face value because the machine skims 8% off the top as the fee for using the machine.  It blows my mind how dumb some crooks really are!

You can’t make this stuff up…

If you did, nobody would believe you!

A Vermont farmer, Roger Pion (yes, that is how it’s pronounced…), gave the Bigfoot treatment to fully half of the local sheriff’s department’s fleet of cruisers with his tractor.  It seems that he was upset about his recent arrest for, as the article puts it: resisting arrest and possession of marijuana.  I have no idea if he had a little for his own personal use or  if that was his primary crop.  One spectator, or rather, witness to the incident described the tractor as having tires at least fifteen feet high.

And a fun time was had by all…

No one was injured except for the taxpayers who will have to foot the bill for replacing the damaged cop cars.

UPDATE: I find it interesting that in the few minutes it took me to write my take on this story and post it and when I went back to read the original to Mum I find that the AP story at Yahoo News has been replaced with a completely rewritten story.  Some details have been added and others have been omitted.  It’s almost like looking something up in Wikipedia.  What you find depends on when you look and who wrote the most recent update.

A jaw-droppingly brilliant plan

Well, actually...

The Stupid is strong with this one!

Snerk!

Matter of fact, Mum and I heard the BOLO on our scanner when it happened.  I probably would have missed it in (the on-line edition of) the paper otherwise.


EDIT: Fixed my jaw-droppingly lousy spelling.

Stupid Criminal Tricks

Personally I love CoinStar machines.  I would NEVER put any coin of mine into one, mind you!  They are a ripoff, IMHO.  The machines at your local grocery store take a notable percentage for the privilege of counting your coin for you.  What I like about them is that it is often lazy and sloppy people who use them.  I make a point of checking the reject bin of every one I encounter.  There is abandoned coin there often enough to make it worth my while.  I have even found the occasional 1964 quarter in the bin or around the machines.  :-)

But as bad a deal as these machines are, this takes a special kind of stupid:

Thief drops stolen coin collection into Coinstar machine